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I left that parent-teacher conference in tears. Every day my daughter hears that she is doing something wrong.

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She gets in trouble or reprimanded countless times a day, many times for things that are out of her control. Teachers tell me they will work hard to make sure my daughter is successful this year and that their goal is for her issues to improve. What that turns out looking like every year is her being shamed or getting things taken away for not being able to focus, be calm, or finish her work.

These children do not need to be fixed or made to be like everyone else; they need to be understood. ADHD is a disability , and they do not have the ability to do some of the things that are being asked of them. I want them to consider different awards for the effort of the children who will never get the other awards. By using the same terminology, the Torah compares the honour you owe your father and mother to the honour you have to give to the Almighty.

What Does It Mean to ‘Honor Your Father and Mother’?

It also says, 'Every person must respect his mother and his father' Leviticus , and it says, 'God your Lord you shall respect, Him you shall serve' Deuteronomy Here the same word, respect, is used. The Torah equates the respect you owe your parents with the respect you must show God. Furthermore it says, 'Whoever curses his father or mother shall be put to death' Exodus And furthermore it says, 'Anyone that curses God shall bear his sin' Leviticus By using the same terms the Torah compares cursing of parents with cursing the Almighty.

Because honouring parents is part of honouring God, the mitzvah does not depend on the worthiness of the parent:"Even if his father is wicked and a sinner, he must fear and revere him A convert to Judaism must not curse or despise his non-Jewish father. It also requires honour to one's stepparents [16] [17] or an older sibling who is raising one, [18] and one's teachers, [19] though one has a greater obligation to honor a parent than a grandparent.

The commandment is repeated eight times throughout the bible.

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Keeping this commandment was associated by the Israelites with the ability of the nation of Israel to remain in the land to which God was leading them. Honouring one's parents is also described in the Torah as an analogue to honouring God.

Our Children’s Busyness Is Not A Badge of Honour (And Why We Need To Change It)

According to Jeremiah, God blessed the descendants of Rechab [28] for obeying their forefather's command to not drink wine and uses the family as a counterexample to Israel's failure to obey his command to not worship other gods:. Will you not learn a lesson and obey my words? To this day they do not drink wine, because they obey their forefather's command. But I have spoken to you again and again, yet you have not obeyed me. Again and again I sent all my servants the prophets to you.

They said, 'Each of you must turn from your wicked ways and reform your actions; do not follow other gods to serve them. Then you will live in the land I have given to you and your fathers. The descendants of Jonadab son of Recab have carried out the command their forefather gave them, but these people have not obeyed me.

According to the Mishneh Torah this commandment requires one to honour both of one's parents equally; there is no greater weight given to either the father or the mother. While in some parts of scripture, father is stated first, in others, mother comes first. This shows that the honour due to each is equal.

While Jewish teaching holds that a married woman must honour her husband, there are also guidelines for how she may continue to honour her parents:. It is the duty of both men and women to honour their parents. However, a married woman, who owes devotion to her husband, is exempt from the precept of honouring her parents.

Yet, she is obliged to do for the parents, all she can, if her husband does not object. The commandment requires one to obey one's parents when the command given by a parent is reasonable and permissible under Jewish law. Everything that your father says to you, you are obliged to obey. But if he says to you: "Let us bow down to idols", you must not obey him, lest you become an apostate.


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I am the Lord your God, and both you and your parents are equally bound to honour Me, therefore, you must not hearken to them to disregard My word. This can be done by reciting kaddish for 11 months and on the yarzeit anniversary of the parent's death , and by donating charity in the memory of the parent. The study of Torah is also considered to be reverence toward a parent, for it shows that a parent raised a worthy child.

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A child must never put a parent to shame, or speak arrogantly to a parent. In the gospels, Jesus affirmed the importance of honouring one's father and mother Matthew —9, Matthew —19, Mark —19, Luke —21 Paul quotes the commandment in his letter to the church in Ephesus :. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. See also Colossians In his letters to the Romans and Timothy , Paul describes disobedience to parents as a serious sin Romans —31, 2 Timothy The words of Jesus and the teaching of Paul indicate that adult children remain obligated to honour their parents by providing for material needs.

In the gospels, Jesus is portrayed as angry with some people who avoided materially providing for their parents by claiming the money they would have used was given to God Matthew —8, Mark — In these passages, Jesus quotes Isaiah According to the Gospel of John , when Jesus was on the cross, he provided for his natural mother by giving the Apostle John the charge to care for her, which John accepted. According to the gospel of Matthew , the obligation to honour one's parents is bounded by one's obligation to God: "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood. Ephesians This is the foundation of the honour owed to parents. I was able to remember her without heartache.

I was able to celebrate her little life.

What Does It Mean to ‘Honor Your Father and Mother’?

Traditional family pictures after loss can pose a challenge. How do you recognize your loss while representing your entire family? The family tree print by A Beautiful Remembrance is a way to honor every family member in a loving way. Everything about these prints — from text to colors — can be personalized. For similar memorial prints by this company, click here.

Photographer Nicole Streeter captured the beautiful way parents Ashton and Adam Nell honor their son Deacon , who passed away shortly after his birth. This precious plush elephant has become a way for Miles to have his big brother with him. From walking the hallways of school to taking a trip together, this tangible reminder of love and remembrance is always there.